Managing Minor Crises

I had a job interview today with a small publishing company. They had me in mind for a position I didn't apply for, but which recently became available and actually sounds more interesting than what I had originally sent my resume in for. This is all very last minute of course, since I'm starting temp work tomorrow. I just got the email about this interview last night and wrote back to ask if I could come in today while I still have time. I felt like the interview went okay, but that my actual experience fell short of what they thought it was once I explained my resume. Beyond that, I had to take some skill tests at the beginning on which I performed miserably. I should have said something in my own defense but I didn't want to seem dishonest or as if I was making up excuses. Of course in retrospect, I could have said that given and opportunity to retake them, I think I would perform better. They were testing on speed and accuracy, and I was very slow but very accurate. I think it was partly the disclaimer that "no one ever finishes so don't worry when you don't" that threw me off and lead me to underestimate the importance of the speed aspect. It is true, though, that I would rather take my time to do something right than rush through it and have it turn out sub-par. I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. Anyway, it hardly matters now but the point was that I went home feeling rather defeated. It's really awful when I get in those moods. I start questioning my purpose in life. Isn't 24 a bit young for a mid-life crisis? I know I think too much and I've really been beating myself up lately about what to do with my life. I feel like I should have a career I'm really passionate about, but I can't seem to get into anything. I guess that's why I'm writing. When all else fails it is an excellent way to vent my thoughts, however dramatic or illogical they may be at any given moment. I like telling stories but I seem to let out all the negative and keep the positive thoughts for myself, as if I'm afraid I'll lose everything good I have if I take the chance of sharing it. Anyway, back to my life mission. The only things I know I'm passionate about are France (I love the country, the language, the food, the wine) and skiing, which I've been doing as long as I've been walking. I guess by those standards the only solution would be to move to the alps and get a job as a ski instructor! I actually thought at one point that it might be nice to move there, get married and be a stay at home mom and writer. If I could do all that in the Alps region (I'm thinking Lyon, although Grenoble is nice and I've heard lovely things about Annecy) I'd be set for life! But alas, reality is not so kind. I have a one year lease in Boston now, and about 30 years worth of student loan debt. Oh well. In the mean time, a girl can dream!